How I Handled My Failures



Dear Millennial,

This letter is a reminder that adversity quotient is a flavour of intelligence you need to identify and understand. In fact, your knowledge of its existence will preserve you.

AQ (Adversity Quotient ) is a score that measures the ability of a person to deal with adversities in his or her life. Hence, it is commonly known as the science of resilience. A term coined by Paul Stoltz in 1997 in his book Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities.

AQ is one of the probable indicators of a person’s success in life and is also primarily useful to predict attitude, mental stress, perseverance, longevity, learning, and response to changes in the environment. Inlay man’s terms, AQ means understanding that adversity and pain exist even though we hate to encounter them.

I remember how I desired to leave the country in 2018. A part of me knew it wasn’t the will of God but I planned to anyway. I sold my pimped red Car. Packed my luggage and counted down to my departure when for the first time in my life I was denied a visa based on an error in my document. I was however instructed to re-apply but I did not. Fast forward to the end of 2019, I needed to embark on some global exploits and all the documents I submitted were details of my existence and contributions to the world in the past two years. Who I have become was initiated by “failure”. Pain processed me.

I am not sure you hear this often but we have all failed ( maybe still failing) at exams, denied applications, sponsorships, fellowships, visas. Some experiences are even as complicated as heartbreaks, sicknesses, debt, death etc. We still exist because we refused to surrender.

Life is deeper than being obsessed with success. By all means desire success. Strive for it but don’t be obsessed with it because obsession and joy may not be able to cohabit.

Success is also deeper than hype, noise, automobiles, condominiums, fame, money, and winning awards. Success is your contribution to humanity. Evidence of changed lives. Deep joy and happiness. Peace. Success is knowing one life breathed easier because you lived.

So the next time you feel like relinquishing, inquire from the one who created you, your coach or therapist about the purpose behind the sting.

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