The Lethal Power of Shame

I train on SHAME weekly and the last time I did, I wept because Shame is lethal, shame is deadly and a major reason women don’t leave bad marriages is because of SHAME.

The shame tied to departure, restarting, and being single again.

Women are dying in bad marriages because they think God hates divorce. They think God will rather have them die than leave. Like really? The same God who offered David a murderer and adulterer a second-life ticket? Or Saul a terrorist / Boko-haram member a soul renewal? Or Rehab the prostitute an ancestral ticket?

We were not born ashamed. We learnt shame and in the same way, we learnt it, we will unlearn it.

Women are no longer going to fade away.

They will no longer nurse high blood pressure and diseases because of an unequal yoke.

They will no longer say their best lives happened when they were single.

Shame needs 3 nurturers to survive,

Secrecy.

Silence.

Judgement.

Shame depends on aloneness, the belief that you are alone. It can’t survive empathy or a compassionate conversation. Infact, the less you discuss it the more you drown in it. So it threatens you to secrecy.

Shame comes to steal, kill and destroy and we are no longer going to lose women to bad entanglements.

Yes, we will embrace therapy but if your partner decides not to attend a family life therapy session, isn’t that a home goal?

A woman can’t build a house a man is determined to destroy.